December 15, 2011

Dear Supporters,

The last month of 2011 is passing by fast. I feel rather comfortable knowing that someday the Lord will call me to come to Heaven. Since there is no way to know when that will be, I will just do my best doing whatever I have to do until then.

I have been so happy to work at Aeran Parent Child Support Network since this year and I deeply appreciate your support. Without your commitment, I couldn't have done it at all. To be frank with you, I feel overwhelmed from time to time, but whenever there's a crisis to overcome, you always reach out to us with your help.

In the 1990s, most of the unwed mothers placed their babies for adoption. This decision ate away at their hearts and many of them cried for days on end. It was so painful for me to see them troubled by their anguish. But when some returned to Aeranwon being pregnant again, I realized each and every one of them had deep wound inside them that needed to be healed. Their wounds should be healed once and for all for good.

Your support has helped many unwed mothers to dream again and to try to make their dreams come true. Instead of choosing adoption for their children, many are now making the choice to raise their babies. To bring up their child as well as possible, they try to further their education and receive job training. Little by little, hope has taken the place of despair, and laughter has replaced crying. These small, but great changes are owed to our Lord and his representatives, you, all the supporters!

The case study presentation held on November 24th was a success. As posted, the results of Parent Education Program which has been carried out since 2006 also were presented. It revealed that most birth mothers experience a lot of difficulties while bringing up their children. These difficulties are due, primarily, to lack of support from families and friends. This originates in the fact that many of these mothers themselves were abused and mistreated in their own homes. In cases where the birthmothers never attached with their own mothers, the problems that arise while parenting worsen for birthmothers with this history. That's why, in 2006, Aeran Parent Child Support Network started the Parent Education Program which includes a special 'attachment program'. Now it is up and running effectively and generating some positive results. At the November 24th gathering, we presented a number of case studies in order to share the results of this Parent Education Program with other related organizations. Many public officials and community facility personnel who couldn't attend the meeting then, have asked us to do the presentation one more time and we are planning to do so next year.

Our neighbor, Kwang Sung Church, has been supporting our first birthday party celebrations each month. Two babies had their first birthday parties on November 26. Their mothers are a sophomore and senior in high school, respectively. For the parties, church staff and the young mothers got together and discussed the importance of the event. Later, the church staff told us how all the worries they had about the young, single mothers were groundless and that they realized the age of a mother did not necessarily determine whether the mother was going to be a good parent. One high school sophomore birthmother's mom attended the party. She commented, "I was shocked and disappointed with my daughter so much when I found out she was pregnant when she was only a 7th grader. But thanks to the Narae Alternative School, she has been able to go on to high school and take care of her child. Now I am so proud of my daughter and I am getting to know a world that I would have otherwise not known. If she had gotten an abortion as I planned at first, I would have never learned how precious a life can be. I don't know how to thank you for helping my daughter." While listening to this mom, I thought about the fact that everyone has various crises that they have to overcome in life, but in all those critical moments, our Lord helps lead us down the right path and we need to just follow Him. That's a blessing that only those who have overcome their troubles can understand. My staff and I were so proud of those young mothers who participated in the Parent Education Program as often as they could and who have raised their children with successful attachment. We cry because we are so happy not sad.

This is to announce that Me.You.Us. Parent Child Support Center is going to hold a year-end party. We are inviting all the members of unwed single mothers' households in the community. Last year, a total of 53 mothers came to the party and 36 volunteers came to take care of the 36 children. This year, about 100 single mothers and their children will join the party. We are going to give out some presents to console and encourage them. If you have anything to donate as a gift, please do so for the party. We are also looking for supporters willing to give monetary donations of $10 per person attending the party. Please help us to comfort single mothers and their children with your support of the year-end party.

The appliances needed at the Self Supporting Homes have been replaced with new ones thanks to Minister Geun Hwe Cho, Mrs. Jaewook Han, and Mr. Soonho Shin. Mothers at the Homes were very happy to see new appliances because they were expecting just other used ones. We deeply thank those three supporters, for giving us such wonderful Christmas presents! We owe you a lot!!

Christmas is coming. We wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Thanks a bunch!!

Sincerely,

Sangsoon, Han
Director
Aeranwon / Aeran Parent Child Support Network

 

November 23, 2011

Dear Supporters,

It's a season of Fall trees with their vivid colored leaves. Such a beautiful season! Falling autumn leaves in warm breezes make me so happy. Trees, even though they are getting ready for the coming harsh winter, give us such pleasure. I wish the hard times in our lives could be remembered as beautifully as those falling leaves. It seems most of life’s precious moments come to us wrapped in difficult ordeals as in the Psalms verse, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."

Life of single mothers in Korea is so tough. Their lives seem to be a series of unfortunate incidents. They have suffered from the difficulties of growing-up and adolescence, through pregnancy and childbirth. Those hardships, however, allow them a chance to stop for awhile and take a good look at their lives. They are called to ponder where they are going. And meanwhile, the rest of us here witness, each day, those single mothers becoming more responsible, more mature, and healthier physically and psychologically.

Even though they were not ready for their unplanned pregnancies, they decided to give birth and raise their children on their own. To do so, they had to fight social prejudice and cope amidst financial difficulties. For the past 30 years, I have seen so many of those young, single, courageous, strong-willed mothers struggle to become independent, sound members of our society. It goes without saying that if it had not been for all of you, our supporters and volunteers, they could not have reached their goals. All of us truly appreciate your support.

There is a poem with this same story that I would like to share.

A Jujube by Chang, Sukjoo

That can't be ripe red by itself.
Couple of typhoons, couple of thunders,
couple of bolts of lightning might have it ripe red.
That can't be getting round by itself.
Couple of nights with early frost, month of hot sunshine,
a few nights of crescent might have it getting round.

All of you, supporters and volunteers, are the hidden power of our Aeran Network. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The bazaar held on Oct. 29th was a success thanks to the sponsors and volunteers. We raised a total of $6,534 including 750,000won of the bazaar supporting aid. I really appreciate all the sponsors and volunteers who support us in any way possible, and those who visit the bazaar. The raised money will be used all for the single mothers and their children at the Self-supporting Home.

There is an announcement I want make. The presentation of a case (managed by the Aeran Parent Child Support Network) and a special lecture on Parent Education for the unwed single mothers with case studies will be held at the Great Meeting Room on the third floor of Seodaemoon-gu Office from 14:00 to 17:00 on Thursday, Nov. 24th. I will report you about it next month.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Sangsoon, Han
Director
Aeranwon / Aeran Parent Child Support Network

 

October 26, 2011

Dear Supporters,

Hello. With sincere thanks to our supporters and volunteers, I'm letting you know what happened at Aeran Network last month. But I am wondering if you read the Newsletter which we send biannually. It had a lot of news in. The other day I visited one of our generous supporters. He said there seemed no distinguishable difference between Aeranwon and other social welfare facilities that he has been supporting. And in the course of conversation, I realized he had never read our monthly or biannual newsletters. I earnestly requested him to read the newsletter every month in order to get to know exactly what is going on at Aeranwon. I earnestly request that you, too, please read our monthly newsletter without fail.

There have been more and more students coming to the Narae Alternative School which opened last year. Now there are five middle school students and eight high school students. As there are an increased number of high school students who want to go to a college, we social workers and the teachers at the school have become very alert to improve their scholastic ability to get a better score on the College Test. As there was a gap between each student's capability anyway, teachers divided students into separate classes according to their levels for English and Math. And for other subjects, students were connected to volunteers who taught them individually. Private Internet lectures are being used, too. They are studying until 11 at night on their own these days. They are not supposed to study later than 11 because they had better be careful about their pregnancy.

There was, however, a very sad incident that we couldn't do much about. Last month one girl entered Aeranwon. She is a third level student at a high school. She was very happy to know that she doesn't have to give up her study even though she is pregnant. She needed just one more semester to graduate. But to enroll at the Narae School, it is imperative for the students to get a recommendation letter from her regular high school principal. Unfortunately, her principal refused to write a recommendation letter for her even though not only she and her parents but teachers at the Narae Alternative School asked over and over. Even a city school inspector visited him in vain. She eventually had to drop out of school. There seem to be so many obstacles to overcome for teen mothers' education.

Here is another sad story about a single mom who decided to give birth because of her responsibility for her baby despite that she, in a sense, expected lots of difficulties caused by social prejudice. She was admitted into Aeranwon and gave birth to her healthy son. She made a choice to raise her son by herself instead of letting him be adopted. She studied very hard and got a license to work after having vocational training, and she finally got a job. She has been working very hard for the past seven years, bringing up her child as well as she could. She has joined the Parenting Education Class of Me.You.Us Support Center to raise him with love and care. Lately, one of the famous Daily Newspapers asked us to interview one single mother on its special article about unwed single mothers, and because she wanted to lessen the prejudice in the society on unwed mothers, she volunteered and did get the interview (of course namelessly). But it turned out to be a disaster. As soon as her interview was on the Internet site of the Daily Newspaper, there were tens of vicious replies and posts on the Internet and she got hurt deeply. All of us felt so sorry for her. Deep social bias still firmly exists.

On October 29th, Saturday, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., the fall bazaar will be held at Aeranwon. Please pray for it. The funds raised will be used for the self-supporting group home for the mothers who raise their children. You know, on the bazaar, purchasing is donating at the same time. :)I am so proud that you are a supporter at Aeranwon.

With my sincere thanks. Thank you!!

Sincerely,

Sang Soon Han
Director
Aeranwon/Aeran Network

 

August 23, 2011

Dear Supporters,

It's August already! It seems the end of this year is running toward us. Some say life goes 10km/hour for the teens, 20 for the twenties, 30 for the thirties, 40 for the forties, 50 for the fifties, and so on. Why do we feel time flies as we get older? One theory is that the old and the young have different speed systems. As we get old, such vital signs as breath, blood pressure, pulse, and metabolism slow down and our physical movements get sluggish. That's why we feel that time passes so quickly compared to our physical slowness. Seeing that I feel time really flies, I must really be getting old. :D

Did you have a good summer vacation? As our staff members take turns going on their summer vacations, there is not much going on at Aeranwon. It has been comparatively uneventful here at the Aeran Network. But I keep myself busy at this time of year preparing for the many guests who visit. Most of them are overseas-adoptees. Those adoptees usually come to Aeranwon to get some information about their biological families and to find out more about their biological mothers and thus, understand the harsh circumstances under which they were placed for adoption. These adoptees also seek to resolve identity crises and anger rooted in the abandonment they feel from their biological mothers.

Many of the adoptees who visit have already read I Wish for You a Beautiful Life published by Aeranwon in 1999, so they truly understand that they were not just given up by their birthmothers. They realize now how deep their biological mothers’ sorrow and agony were, and how hard these women tried to bring up their children on their own. Despite the fact that most adoptees intellectually understand this, emotionally they still want to the answer to the question, "Why?" (Most of them probably have not read Aeranwon’s second book - Dreaming a World- published in January 2010.)

Most adoptees who visit Aeranwon are between 20 and 40, and their faces reflect how good or bad their lives have been to them. When they visit in small groups, they almost always want to meet single mothers who once placed their children for adoption. At Aeranwon we have a special volunteer group of past Aeranwon clients, and these women meet with visiting groups whenever they are available.

To the single mothers who have placed their children for adoption, the adoptees they meet represent the children whom they placed. It is good for single mothers to meet with adoptees and help the adoptees resolve hurt feelings and anger caused by adoption. In doing so, these single mothers believe that in return, when required, their birth children will be able to find the help they need.

One recent visiting group consisted of six adult adoptees. This group wanted to know how tough it was to be an unmarried single mom in our society, how what kinds of childhoods these birthmothers had had, under what circumstances they became pregnant and delivered their children, and how they came to the decision of adoption (especially if their children were going to be placed internationally), and how they feel about their birthchildren today. Single mothers who volunteered to meet with this small group answered every question as honestly and earnestly as they could. Some of the adoptees didn't talk at all, sitting at the meeting with gloomy expressions, but they all listened to the single moms with care.

Among the members of this visiting group, there was a 25-year old young man who wanted to find his biological mother, but realized it would be impossible due to the lack of information available to do a search. Following the meeting with our single mothers, this young man approached one single mother in the group. This woman was waiting for her own birth son to come back someday from the United States and look for her, his biological mother. The young man consoled the single mom, saying that her son would surely be back for her whenever her son had time and opportunity.

The young man and the single mother promised and embraced as they encouraged each other to be patient until they could meet their respective biological family members. This experience contributed to the healing of both their wounds. We all realized the meeting helped the young man to open his mind, who later shared that he had been thinking about committing suicide all along.

Looking at those single mothers and young adoptees in the meeting, I learned that newly born love and care can grow on top of old wounds. The bigger old wounds are, the wider and the deeper world we can find to create this new love and care. I have always been so proud of these mothers at Aeranwon. They have been strong enough to help others even through their own sorrow and pain. They have said, "We can understand how great [the adoptees’] pain is because we have been there before." Those strong-willed single mothers are a valuable source of power to the Aeran Network and its life-saving mission, in addition to our generous supporters and volunteers. Where on Earth could I meet these beautiful women if I didn't come to Aeranwon?

I thank God for allowing me this precious encounter.

There are many things I want to share with you, but the stories are getting too long. I will let you go now, but keep continue to keep you posted. I hope you have a wonderful summer with good health. And I will pray for you all. Thank you!!

SangSoon Han
Director
Aeranwon
Aeran Parent Child Support Network

 

June 22, 2011

Dear Supporters,

Hello. It's getting warmer and warmer. I hope you have a wonderful summer in good health.

According to Dr. Harry F. Harlow, who was an American psychologist best known for his maternal-separation and social isolation experiments on rhesus monkeys, infant monkeys raised in isolation chambers emerged severely disturbed even though they got fed enough food. As a lack of contact comfort is psychologically stressful to the monkeys, they showed a lot of trouble in social and cognitive development. The importance of these findings is that nursing strengthened the mother-child bond because of the intimate body contact that it provided. He described his experiments as a study of love. And he also believed that contact comfort could be provided by either the mother or the father.

Believing that children raised with love can understand and care about others with a great capability of resilience, in 2010 we carried out a model program on forming strong attachment between unwed mothers and their children under the guidance of a specialist. The results were successful. And to share the results with all the other Maternity Homes and Group Homes for the Unwedmother-child, and to educate the importance of the mother-child bond, we held a special workshop with the theme of "raising single-parent children with success" on December 9, 2010. We informed single parents that their own attitude towards their child was tremendously important to form their child's creativity, high self-esteem, and credibility. The workshop was also a great success.

Actually, there was momentum for us to hold the mother-child bond program at Aeranwon last year. There was a teen single mother who didn't have any emotional bonds with her baby. The baby was very restless, fussing and crying a lot whenever he was held by the mother. The young mom didn't understand why her child behaved that way at all. We encouraged her to take part in the special program to enhance the mother-child attachment and videotaped how she dealt with her baby in everyday situations. She finally realized that the problem was with her, not her child. After the program, she changed her attitude towards her baby in a positive way, trying to raise her baby as well as possible. And she herself did pass the high school graduation test and now is ready for job training at the Aeran Mother-Baby’s Home in Aeran PC Network.

These days 80% of single mothers prefer to raise their own children rather than to give them up for adoption. That is why we are trying to help them raise their children well. Most of them now realize that their swift response to the baby's needs, warm bodily contact, and positive conversation help their child grow well enough to be a good member of the society.

The bazaar held on May 14th was a great success thanks to your support. We raised total of 6,600,000 Won, including cash donation of 1,100,000 Won. Lots of single mothers in the community came to the bazaar because the price of the goods was very low and a variety of food was prepared. We gave them free coupons for the food and let the mothers have any food they wanted.

Although sharing food with them at the bazaar did not make a good profit, it did make the event very enjoyable. It was my great pleasure to see all the mothers and their children enjoy the event.

The fund will be used to support those single mothers at the Self Supporting Home who are eager to stand on their own feet in the society. I deeply thank each and every supporter for your donation, and for coming to our bazaar, purchasing goods, and encouraging us.

Your sincere support makes all the wonders possible. I am very proud of you and I really appreciate. Thank you. I will keep you posted. Bye.

Sincerely,

SangSoon Han
Director
Aeranwon
Aeran Parent Child Support Network

 

May 24, 2011

Dear Supporters,

Greetings from Aeranwon and Aeran network to you all in May, the queen month in all seasons, May. Beautiful flowers are everywhere. Wish you and your family the very best for this month of family

Working at Aeranwon, I realize how important a well-functioning home is for children. I keenly feel all the time the importance of raising a child with love and care, experiencing the deep inner wounds and anger of young teen mothers. In the 1990s when teen mothers made up to 75% of the unwed mothers of Aeranwon, I once planned to move to a child-care facility. Even though I didn’t carry out the plan, I clearly understood the scriptural phrase: "Don't make your child get angry." And like a saying, "A broken hand works, but not a broken heart," children whose home is unstable hardly get along with others well enough to be a friend with them because of their own suppressed anger, fear, and pain. That's why we have helped and encouraged young mothers to learn the way to build up credibility and love between themselves without hurting each other while staying at Aeranwon.

One of the young mothers at Narae Alternative School said she felt so good that she could even be proud of herself when she was done with all the house chores, such as laundry and cleaning. She also told me she became so thankful for everything. She used to be a church-goer before being admitted to Aeranwon but didn't believe in God. Now she is a true believer. Aeranwon becomes a place of hope and peace thanks to those mothers who lead their lives strong in a positive attitude, studying hard with a high hope and dream.

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who developed a type of existentialist analysis, Logotherapy, successfully treated his patients by helping them focus on a will to meaning of their life. He believed that the striving to find a meaning in one's life is the primary and most powerful motivating and driving force in humans. I cannot help but strongly agree with his theory.

I’d like to share another bit of good news with you.

I mentioned that we were collecting for a security deposit 5,490,000 won to rent a Self-supporting home for the young mothers. Thankfully, the fund was raised to a total amount of 5,525,000 won. Our sponsors donated for the special collection, 3,900,000 won, and we received two unexpected donations in the amount of 1,625,000 won. And one prayer came to us and said that she wants to donate 1 million won to obey God’s will. It was so amazing. The total collection was just a bit higher than our goal by 35,000 won. The excess will be deposited into the account which is used to support the Self-supporting Home.

I would like to thank God and our supporters so much.

There is no way we can keep on going without your precious support. I deeply appreciate your help. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!!

I will keep you posted. See you then.

Sincerely,

Sang Soon Han
Director
Aeranwon

 

May 4, 2011

Dear Supporters,

It's a beautiful season! I can see the trees are changing day by day when I walk to work through the campus of Yonsei University every morning. Azaleas, forsythias, and magnolias are full-blooming and it won't be long for all trees to get blossomed with their many shades of green. Every spring we can eyewitness a miracle. That's how we can have hope for tomorrow in spite of bad news from the world.

Aeran Network has been peaceful these days. Newly admitted young mothers who were quite defensive and aggressive when they first came into the Network now are pretty cooperative to other mothers and staff, putting down their guards. The teachers who used to teach them at their regular school visited once and were surprised to see them change their attitudes. They are getting rid of their desperate and negative attitudes now. It is such a pleasure to see them focus on their lives with confidence. Their high-toned laughter, their babies crying, the sound of cooing the babies, and even their complaining about tight class schedules are all so sweet music to my ear.

But, you know, it can’t always be quiet with no problems, especially in a big family like us. One of the serious problems is lack of support. A company that used to support us with personnel expenses for a staff in charge of fund-raising, volunteer, and public relations, informed us that it could not help but stop the support because of the bad economy situation. We were just about to hire more staff to ease the staff's overloaded work. We are now only praying for God's blessing.

Another thing we have to overcome is to get a place - a Self supporting Home - for young mothers who gave their babies up for adoption. A church used to provide us with a small house for them but the church needs the house back now. Those young mothers have to move out of the house in June. We have been looking for a monthly-rent housing which can be purchased in the long run. Luckily there is a three -bedroom house at Hongeun-dong and we are going to make a contract with Korea Land and Housing Corporation. It is for unwed mothers who have a job with a high school diploma and job education after putting their baby up for adoption. The house is on a steep hill, but close to their work place, and our office as well, so that they can commute to work with ease and we can give them help any time they need. We have to pay 5,490,000 Won (exchange rate: 1068/1$) for deposit and 245,000 Won for monthly rent. If we can put 41,865,000 Won for deposit, then there will be no monthly payment. If, by any chance, some of you can help us with part of the deposit, it will be a great relief for all of us.

Recently, one of the young mothers in this place tried to commit suicide by cutting an artery on her wrist. She was admitted to Aeranwon at the age of 16, delivered a baby, put the baby up for adoption, and was admitted to Seumter. She has done her best to stand up on her feet. In fifteen months, she has passed not only her middle school qualification test but also the high school one. And having done with her job training, she got a job immediately. She has been saving as much money as she possibly could. But her father who went broke living with his girl friend asked her for quite a sum of money. She sent all the money she had and committed suicide that night. She was saved all right and began to work again. We were so sorry to see the 20-year old girl struggle to live on her own with all the burden she got. She reminds me of the famous Russian poet Alexander Pushkin's poem, "Should this life sometime deceive you, Don't be sad or mad at it! On a gloomy day, submit: Trust- fair day will come,,,”

There were several crisis cases we encountered at Me.You.Us Parent-Child Center. There is a 25-year old single mother who suffered from a lung cancer. Being on the last stage, she gave birth, but she had no one to take care of the child. Even adoption agencies rejected intaking her baby. Lately so many serious cases came into the Aeran Network. Aeran Network seems to be the last stronghold. We are doing our very best to help them out.

There will be a bazaar on Saturday, May 14th, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Aeranwon. We hold a bazaar twice a year, every spring and fall, and the funds raised from the bazaar has been used for the Self-supporting Home. If you have items such as appliances, clothes, and general goods, please send them to us for the bazaar. Used ones are fine. And if you can come to Aeranwon and participate in the bazaar, all the staff members and mothers will be greatly encouraged.

They say laughter brings us happiness, happiness does not make us laugh. And they believe thinking can change behavior, behavior can change habits, and habits can change fate. But from time to time, behavior can change thinking and habit as well. Let's give it a try to laugh out loud on purpose when we feel like giving up. God bless you all, and wish all be happy! Thank you very much.

Sang Soon Han
Director
Aeranwon
Aeran Parent Child Support Network.

 

April, 2011

Dear Supporters,

Thank you all who love, support, and pray for the Aeran Parent Child Support Network. God's blessings and your support have enabled us to organize all the more specialized and systemized networks to help single mothers be independent and stable in the society. We couldn't have done itwithout you!

The year 2010 has been a meaningful one for us. Most of all, it was a blessing and a pleasure to see babies born everyday, and their young single mothers get settled day by day. Especially, seeing the babies grow healthy made me realize how valuable life is. If somebody wonders if there is a miracle in this modern society, I will tell him without hesitation thatlife itself is a miracle. And also I was told keeping Aeran Network in control was a miracle, too.

I feel such a tremendous responsibility whenever I watch the innocent eyes of the babies. I sincerely wish our society to be a good place for those naive children to live without any prejudice and discrimination. Whomever they were born to, each and every life should be respected, and raised with dignity so that those children can be as happy as anyone can. We, Aeran Network, will do our best to attain that dream.

One of many changes in 2010 was to improve the single parent education system in order to help single parents raise their children with success. The previous unified system was run without considering the child's age, causing the parent to lose interest in their child's education. So we divided the system into four groups according to the child's age: pre-parent, 13-24 months, 24-36 months, and 36 months plus. The new system encouraged single mothers to share all the information concerning their child's education and after school activities.

As the children grow old, special children's programs were needed to let them experience expanded sociality, freeing themselves from the limited mother-child relationship. That's how "Big Brother, Good Brother" project started. Teen volunteers from three science high schools in Seoul were connected to the children. And MNV, a math/science club at Hansung Science High School provided a fun math/science program for 5-7 year-old children to enhance their creativity.

"Miss Mom's Hope Tree" one-to-one connection project has also been enlarged and now 34 single mothers and their children are being individually supported at the amount of 100,000 won per month. They must have had a special feeling of encouragement and support.

The most impressive project in 2010 was starting Narae Alternative School with the cooperation of Seoul City Education Office in June. All the teen mothers who have been deprived of their public education rights during their pregnancy now can get their rights back at Narae Substitute School.

In 2010, not only a special ceremony but a seminar, "History of Unwed Single Mothers' Welfare and Its Direction to Develop" was held to commemorate Aeranwon's 50th anniversary. Especially, a daughter of Ban Aeran, a missionary and a founder, as well and the family of Mrs. Sue Rice, our second director, visited Korea to celebrate with us.

The second book, Dreaming a World, has been published by Brian Boyd at Yeong & Yeong Book Company in Minnesota, U. S. A. As international adoptees loved the second book as well as the first one, I Wish for You a Beautiful Life, we got a great deal of consolation from them. A U.S. adoptive parent suggested that I should visit all the adoptees in the world taking those two books with me to let them realize how much their birthmothers loved them and how deep their sorrow was when they had to put their babies up for adoption.

In the latter half of 2010, a young mothers' self-supporting home project was begun. Young mothers at Aeran Seumter had no place to go even after they got a job because their parents abused them with physical or sexual violence. That's why we started the self-supporting home project so that they could save some money for the rent deposit during their stay at the home.

Aeranwon and Aeran Mother-baby's Home were recognized as the best facility in the nation by National Women Welfare Evaluation run by the government. Last May, each and every staff member could get a bonus of 241,300 won. That was a small compensation but big encouragement to all the staff who have worked day and night, acting like a family to the single mothers at the facility.

This year, grasping mothers' needs, we are going to reorganize our programs according to its priority and work load to prevent the tasks from overlapping. And also, we will do our best to standardize each program's work load, developing human resources so that all the staff members can show their upgraded capability in their own field. We will try to avoid manpower problems by utilizing part-time staff, volunteers, and mothers at the Aeran Network who are capable, available, and willing to work hard, earning some money instead of being helped for free. However, mobilization of manpower will be a demanding project for us for the coming years.

We will be very careful not to fall into any mannerism and optimism bias which we are accustomed to get just because we have experienced such successful results through lots of hardships. We promise that with your support we will do our very best to spare fragile lives and to help mothers to be independent, raising their children as well as possible. Thank you!

Sincerely,

SangSoon Han
Director of Aeranwon

 

March, 2011

Dear Supporters,

First of all, I would like to thank you for the feedback on my newsletter, saying they have never been too long. The fact that you actually read my letters is a great pleasure and consolation to me.

Thanks!!

Having so many unfortunate families with us, we experience various happenings all the time. By dealing with those issues, we are learning how to adapt all the sadness, agony, and even happiness in a quiet mind. I was smiling at the idea that I might be able to come up with quite a thick book if I intend to write a story about the past 26 years of my experience.

-A story about a young single mother who was in labor but was refused from a couple of hospitals because of her physical condition with toxemia of pregnancy plus high blood pressure. She finally was admitted into a hospital and got an emergency operation at one o'clock in the morning.

-A story about another single mother who refused to change her clothes at the labor room because she hid some money – hundreds of 1,000 won bills- in her underwear. She used to get some allowance from us saying she had no money at all. We all were rather so sorry about her hard life than upset at her lie.

-A story about a young single mother who cried all the time refusing to eat because she decided to give her baby up for adoption. She wanted to keep her baby just for a week until her baby's belly button fell apart so that she could keep it for memory. She cried so hard for a week that her face was all black and blue. Her facial veins got all torn off. We all cried when the adoption day finally came.

-A story about a single mother who refused any blood transfusion during her operation. The hospital called us at night and suggested us to transfer her to another hospital if we could not persuade the patient. I prayed and prayed kneeling down at the door of the operating room and only got an answer that having her get the operation was a blessing. I didn’t understand why that was a blessing until I met her mother who came to the hospital to see her daughter. Her daughter fell into a heterodoxy and that's why she refused to get a blood transfusion.

I have to confess that there hasn't been a single moment when there was not God's blessing for thousands of babies' births. In the past, there have been many difficulties due to each and every single mother's distressing situation, however, there are now many frustrating problems caused by social environment concerning single mothers and the facilities. Some of you might think there have been changes toward single mothers in the society compared to the past, but still there are many more difficulties to solve. But we entrust all to our God, just carrying out our mission which is to help lives in crisis and to help them keep their own safety, rights, and dignity. Our Narae Alternative School was honored as a group of people who brighten the world by the Environment Foundation last year. We accepted the award, considering it as the social agreement on the rights of teen single mothers' education. Thanks to you, our precious supporters, we could open the school and help those young mothers have their dream come true, letting them go on with their studying.

Thank you so much and I'll keep you posted.

Sincerely,

SangSoon Han
Director of Aeranwon

 

January, 2011

Dear Supporters,

Greetings for the New Year! I wish for you God's blessings on your home and your job throughout the New Year! In 2010, there were quite a few ordeals, from the devastating earthquake in Haiti to North Korea's bombings of Yeonpyeong Island. But thanks to God's blessings and your committed support, Aeranwon continued to help unwed mothers. The changes that those young single mothers made to their lives gave us a great pleasure and we all believe those changes will benefit the whole of our society, too.

The goal of Aeranwon is to support the stability of struggling single mothers in society and make it possible for them to raise their children successfully. One of the promising facts is that the government now recognizes the importance of single mothers' independence as the result of Aeranwon's persistence on that issue. I hope the Aeran Network system can be spread nationwide as a good model. In addition to the public sector's support, the private sector's supplemental service, and specialized 1:1 case management are needed to help single mothers achieve their independence.

All the programs in the Aeran Network were evaluated in December. It’s an in-house evaluation which is executed at the end of a year. Among those evaluations, that of Narae Alternative School was a very special one because the program was quite new, starting 6 months prior. In the process of evaluation, its teachers and students gained valuable insights and a sense of satisfaction. There are now four students in the school and they all expressed their thanks for the program, saying they have started to build confidence through education, and that with that confidence, they can take an important turn in the paths of their lives.

There were 362 cases of crisis intervention at the Me.You.Us. Parent-Child Support Center. In contrast to the previous year there was an increase in the number of cases that moved from short-term intervention to long-term management cases. About 800 consultations and support were provided. The Parenting Education Program (classified by age) developed a Big Brother Program with three science high schools in the Seoul area acting as a children's health management program as well. Now a total of 22 cases are moving into the case management for independence phase.

On December 18th, there was a year-end party with local single mothers who had returned to their homes. It was a very special gathering for us because the party was organized and operated by team leaders of those single mother groups. 52 mothers with their 52 children attended the party. 36 volunteers came to the party to babysit the children and a native speaker teacher had an English class for the moms. Because of the space limitations, we rented a cafeteria in our neighboring Bongwon Presbyterian Church. And we were so surprisingly happy to get the space as a present from its pastor. The single mothers at first wanted to dine out at a fancy restaurant, but in the course of planning they got practical and frugal, and the party turned out to be a huge success. I could see the mothers were satisfied with themselves, growing big in the real world.

As for Aeran Seumter, it seemed the service contents and independence support methods need some changes. Six out of ten of the residents were transferred from other facilities and they came in via emergency circumstances like mental disability, and homelessness. Those individuals are very different from the members transferred from within the Aeran Network who have prepared to be independent for some time. People from other facilities need far more time because they have to start from the first step, planning and counseling towards self-reliance. In the year 2011, Seumter plans to help these young birth mothers according to their individual capacity. Last year, from Seumter, two went to a college, five completed job training, and they all found employment; two became baristas, and three became office workers, and the others a nurse’s aid and baker, respectively. After getting jobs, three of the young mothers moved to the Self-Independence Home within the Aeran Network.

Five mothers with their kids took their leave from Aeran Mother & Baby’s Home, as the moms were hired as a web designer, a nurse’s aid, a skin therapist, and a barista. One of them went to a college and was in the second semester of her third year. All of us were so happy to see the mother hired as a web designer with a fairly high annual income of $18,000 (20,000,000 Korean won). Most of single mothers are participating various programs in the Me.You.Us Parent-Child Support Center with a high hope of getting a good job and raising their child as well as possible. Compared to the previous year, many more teen mothers have come to the Mother & Baby’s Home, making up 56% of the residents. We are trying to develop and reinforce services for those teen mothers.

The year-end interview for all staff members was held, too. It was to figure out their concerns, to improve the system, and to get some feedback encouraging their morale at the same time. There was a general concern that they were overloaded. But due to the insufficient funding, it isn't a simple matter to hire more staff at this moment. We are planning to get more volunteers in the near future.

There was so much news in December, but I am going to finish the letter now because some have advised me that when a letter gets too long, it is not likely to be read at all.

Please be advised that the Statistics Report for Aeranwon 2010 is included here. The link is just below this note. Thank you very much!

Sincerely,

Sang Soon Han
Director, Aeran Network

 

Aeranwon Statistics Report, 2010

Please click here to open a PDF of the 2010 Statistics. The report is three pages, showing counseling statistics about the background and situations of Aeranwon clients.

 

Christmas, 2010

Dear Supporters,

It’s hard to believe, but 2010 is quickly drawing to a close. I would like to take this time to extend my thanks to each of you for making this year another grateful one. You have continuously supported and helped the single mothers of Aeranwon in Korea, and for that you have my deepest appreciation.

Merry Christmas! My best wishes to you and your families as you celebrate the many joys of the holiday season. May these days be filled with happiness, peace and hope for the New Year. May God bless you!

Best regards,

Sang Soon Han
Director, Aeranwon

 

December, 2010

Dear Supporters,

First of all, I deeply thank you all for your support, and commitment to our Ae Ran Network and unwed mother families.

The year of 2010 has been a significant one to Ae Ran Won. Narae Alternative School opened for teen age mother's education and Self-supporting Home was established for young mothers who had no place to return after they gave up their baby for adoption, and who had difficulties to pay a rent even though they got a job after getting a special job training with their high school diploma in Seumter.

82.9% of those teens were victims of domestic violence. It was impossible for them to go back to their own home. That's why Self supporting Home for those young mothers was needed . We have done our best to support them to stand on their own feet in economical, psychological, and social wise through the organized networking of Ae Ran Won, Narae Alternative School, Ae Ran Mother and Baby’s Home, Self-supporting Home, Seumter, and Me.You.Us Single family Support Center for five years. To be efficient, we built a cooperation system by establishing partnership with specialists in such fields as law, economy, labor, medicine, and other social welfare.

In addition, we started setting up of relationship between unwed single mothers and sponsors to give mothers a strong motive to be successful in the society. One or more sponsors support a single mother family by sending 100,000 Won ($860) every month. So far, we have 44 sponsors supporting 26 families. My special thanks go to those sponsors who are participating in the relationship. The value of 100,000 Won is much more than its actual one to those mothers and they feel so much more encouraged and relieved to know that there is somebody out there who understands and supports them. It is imperative we should have as many sponsors as possible.

Mothers felt good about new parenting education program which was re-edited according to their age.

Especially, they were happy about their children's English class taught by a native speaker who has volunteered since November while they were attending the Parenting Education.

In December, we are going to evaluate this year's projects with single mothers and get some feedback from them to modify next year's projects. As we are expecting a lot of mothers come and join the evaluation meetings, we are planning to rent our neighbor Bongwon Presbyterian Church to accommodate. And we are going to have an year-end party, too. The mothers are in charge of the party planning!

On December 9th, a workshop was held on the theme, "Bringing Up Unmarried, Single Parent Children With Success," for the staffs of unwed mothers related facilities and group homes nationwide. We are going to provide them with all the know-how we got from the experience, giving all the information about networking.

In Ae Ran network, all the programs except Mother and Baby’s Home depend solely on donations. Securing fund for the next year's projects is my number one priority and I am doing my best to raise as much funding as I can.

People say Ae Ran Won is growing a lot. But the goal of ARW is not to be bigger, but to be more effective. The important thing for us is to be more efficient and more effective to support mothers achieve their goal and be independent. And if there are better ways verified to support the mothers, ARW won't be afraid of being challenged and changing its system. And also, if any method applied to the system is wrong, we think the result has no meaning even though it is a huge success. We believe real success comes from the righteous process.

I'd like to thank you once more for your support and confidence in us. I will keep you posted with more significant and fresher news next year. All the staff members at ARW will do our best with sincere responsibility and accountability in the year of 2011.

I wish you all God's blessing. Thank you!

Sincerely,

SangSoon Han
Director of Aeranwon

P.S. Please kindly understand this letter being quite lengthy, as it’s for the whole year of 2010. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

August, 2010

Dear Supporters,

Hello! I am sending greetings from home, for I am taking a month-long vacation, as reward of twenty-years of service at Aeranwon. Being away from Aeranwon, I realize how happy I have been just because of working there, meeting a lot of beautiful supporters and volunteers. And I have been so lucky to do a job that I really like to do. It fits my religion, belief, philosophy, and my major at college. I am so thrilled to think back how much I have learned from the work and the people. Just like the gospel song, 'God's love bears fruit through our meetings,' there has been a lot of wonderful fruits through meeting all of you, and it is so true that the fruit surely influence our society in a very good way. I'd like to send you all my deepest thanks. THANK YOU!!!

The other day, I read a series of articles on "New Run-Away Home Generation" in a daily newspaper. But what I thought after reading was if we consider them only as problematic adolescents who ran away from home without their parents' consent, it will be very difficult to solve the problem.

According to the cases in Aeranwon, 82% of the run-away teens have never been treated or raised properly by their parents. They have suffered from lots of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, and even sexual harassment. In most of the cases, they had to run away from home just to survive. When young teen girls run away from home, they have nowhere to turn to and end up living on the street. What they need on the street is somebody to lean on through the hard times, not sex. But most of the men who come to offer help rape them and go.

In 2001 Aeranwon realized that the problems of teen girls' pregnancy, re-pregnancy and sex trade are closely related to their domestic violence and the difficulties of achieving their independence. Providing them with a stable place to live can be the key to help them get independent and that's how Aeranwon was established. For young single mothers, their insuperable experience such as domestic violence while they were growing up, guilt when they put their baby up for adoption, and insecurity of their future are the greatest obstacles for their independence. Here, at Aeranwon, once they are admitted, we let them stay for two years, helping them to have a job to stand on their own feet. We also offer them job training because we believe they need a good, solid job to be independent.

Without your support, all of these programs could have not been carried out. Lately, however, due to the economic crisis worldwide, funds for Aeran Seumter have dwindled. This is the time we need more of your interest and support. As single mothers are literally very young, they have all the possibilities in their future. Please help them with your generous support so that they can heal their wounds, recover from their hard past, fly high to the sky, and then return their gratitude to our society. We, the Aeranwon Network, will also do our very best to accomplish this goal.

Hope you have a wonderful summer with good health and I will talk to you next month.

Sincerely,

Sang Soon Han
Director of Aeranwon

 

July, 2010

Dear Supporters,

Hello! July has come with half of the year already passed! I took a walk the other day along the Han River in the early morning and saw lots of cosmos flowers in full bloom, making a wonderful view. Nature is surely preparing the coming season as always. In order for you to take a short nature break, I'm including a picture of the beautiful cosmos.

Ae Ran Won has been busy as usual. There are eleven babies at present and we are expecting two more in no time. We are experiencing wonderful miracles every day, watching the babies smile, babble, and grow. But at the same time we do have one concern. When it's summer, all the windows are open because of the hot weather. And when the babies cry, our neighbors complain about the noise. We all wish that our neighbors would hear the babies' cries as a chorus of future hope, not a nuisance.

There's also news for you. I'm proud to say Ae Ran Won was chosen by the Seoul City Office of Education to be an alternative education facility for young pregnant teens.

We are now very happy to be able to prepare the special school here at Ae Ran Won. Even though the right to an education for adolescents is clearly written in the Law, when adolescent women become pregnant, they are either forced out or asked to drop out of school. Moreover, when the father-to-be and a mother-to-be are at the same school, only the girl student is asked to quit her regular education. That's because school officials feel very uncomfortable having pregnant girls in classrooms. This was a major issue that emerged when we discussed continuing education for pregnant girls with the National Human Rights Committee last year. When anyone is stripped of the right to essential education, it is almost impossible for that person to prosper in life and it increases the individual's suffering from poverty and depression.

At Ae Ran Won, we have been trying to give those young women who have left school a chance to get a high school diploma with a proper vocational education sponsored by funds raised from donors. These Ae Ran Won education programs have been recognized to be of high enough quality to be a primary course for young pregnant adolescents and they are intended to cover 60% of the classes that they would have received in regular school. The remaining 40% is to be covered by such regular subjects as Korean, English, Math, and Social Studies and Science. We are now in the process of hiring certified teachers for those five general subjects. If a school asks us to take a pregnant girl in and give her continuing education until she gets ready to go back to school, we are going to take full responsibility to educate her during her pregnancy.

Although Ae Ran Won, as an alternative school, is going to admit pregnant teens, there still are other obstacles to be overcome. One thing is that parents of a pregnant girl should allow their daughter's pregnancy to be recognized by the school and should understand that the baby may be placed for adoption and not raised by the biological mother.

There are a few issues that need to be solved. However, if we just maintain our current status, there won't be any progress whatsoever. We at Ae Ran Won will do our best to help out young pregnant girls who have had to abandon their regular day-to-day lives because of unexpected pregnancies; we will help them to re-enter society with high spirits and increased self-esteem.

I thank you all, Supporters. Despite the fact that there is still discrimination against the unwed mothers in our society, you continue to support us and we deeply appreciate it.

We wish you a wonderful summer!

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

June, 2010

Dear Supporters of Ae Ran Network,

How have you been these days? The weather in Korea is getting hotter nowadays, and summer is already upon us. I hope you have a joyful and healthy summer.

Today, I would like to tell you about the moms in our Ae Ran Network. We are delighted to share the news that five of the moms under our support have made big steps in their careers. Three young mothers passed the national high school qualification exam and two have been accepted to study in a nurse's assistant professional development program. Additionally, from the Mother & Baby's Home, three of our high school students graduated from high school, and two more in our Seumter Program also completed their high school course work. Moreover one girl, after graduating from high school, was accepted to an internship program in a dental clinic and completed a nurse's assistant course at the same time. Her family situation continues to improve through the assistance of family counseling for three years and the time she is able to spend at home.

Another one of the young mothers from Seumter had failed the national qualification exam three times, but she didn't give up and kept studying and finally passed the exam, eventually getting a job after finishing her studies at a nursing institute for one year. Finally she found a job as a nurse's aid.

She had run away from home, but last month she returned home after undergoing two years' family counseling. She used to tell me that when her mom saw her she was always saying "You're a real headache. You are a troublemaker."

After reconciling, her mom now says, "I believe in you." The young woman recently told me, "I've realized my status has changed simply through my mom's words. I really appreciate the support and care I got at Seumter." It gave me great pleasure to hear about her transformation.

On May 18th, The Commission on Human Rights, sponsored by the national government, held a panel discussion about young unwed mothers and their right to education. I and one of our mothers, a young woman who only recently graduated from high school, served as presenters on the panel.

She gave a speech which deeply impressed everyone in attendance.

She revealed how she had been roaming the streets as an adolescent, got pregnant when she was teenager and wanted to give up everything she had at that time. But after she came to Ae Ran Won she gave birth to a healthy boy and she began to study harder. Her determination has increased even more since she had her baby. She obtained a graduation certificate and now she's taking vocational training for career counseling and inquiry. Everyone complimented her that she wants to be a confident mom, work hard, be independent and not disappoint our supporters. Attendees at the conference were worried about how the young woman could nurture a baby, but they became assured if we could help them they can achieve their goals.

During a question and answer period, the director of an unwed mother's facility in Kyunggi province introduced herself, and she said about 80~90% of her program's young mothers failed the qualification test and asked us for guidance. After the panel discussion, while I was coming back home I was thinking carefully about the unique characteristics of Ae Ran network since almost everyone in Ae Ran network passes the exam. It could not be that only smart and capable women are admitted to our program.

The answer, I think, is in our approach: we take care of each woman's needs, and we have a one-on-one program with patient and dedicated staff members who treat each other and the women in our care as they would their own family.

However, most importantly, all our work can be carried out because of your support. If we did not have your support we couldn't support various education programs for the mothers and we could never have dreamed about maintaining our one-on-one training education system. Through your support and the support of dedicated volunteers who help as tutors for the mothers, together we are able to give them the support that they need.

We held a fund-raising bazaar on May 15th, for the Ae Ran Self-supporting home, and all the proceeds of the sale, approximately $4500, will be used for completing their self-independence. I am greatly thankful to those who donated goods and helped us in person on that day. Let me renew my promise to wisely and transparently manage the funds that Ae Ran Won receives through such sales and through direct donations.

The Ae Ran network is indebted to the people who have supported us. I'm so proud to be the director of such a meaningful program. Thank you for your continued support so that our mothers may confidently overcome a challenging period in their lives and take their next steps toward healthy and independent lives.

I'll keep you up-to-date on our program in the coming months again. Once again, thank you for all of your support.

Sincerely,
Sangsoon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

 

May, 2010

Dear Supporters,

We were very busy in April, doing a variety of events to celebrate Ae Ran Won's 50th anniversary. And now, May, the most beautiful month of the season, has come. Seeing the wonderful scenery of the mountains and rivers that slide into a darker shade of green day by day, I wish that our lives have changes as beautiful as the season.

As one of the 50th anniversary special events, we planned to publish a book, The History of Ae Ran Won. Getting started on carrying out the project, we realized there were so many preliminary things to do such as collecting many writing materials and credible data. In order to collect all the data, we first reached out for those staff members and volunteers who used to work for Ae Ran Won in the early days. And also, we should contact the foreign missionaries who used to work at the beginning of the organization to gather all the pictures and statements. And statements from single mothers who stayed at Ae Ran Won at one time or another should be put together, too.

I was so pleased to hear from staff members, saying that it was quite worthwhile to work at Ae Ran Won. Its history with all those impressive statements and incredible data made our current staff members feel like what they're doing was quite worth trying hard. Now that we are done with the publication, I cannot help but think we should have done it better.

I would like to express my special thanks to the minister of Yeaneung Church, Mr. Cho Geunhoe, who let us use his parish for the anniversary events even though it fell on a Saturday night. When I was told that he and his fellow Christians cleaned the building up until the following morning to get it ready for the Sunday worship, I was filled with thanks. And also, I felt grateful for all the flowers, gifts, sponsorships, and congratulation messages. I was so happy to realize Ae Ran Won is loved so much.

Two single mothers were supposed to come and give a special speech on successful stories of Ae Ran Won at the anniversary ceremony. But one of them couldn't come because of her work schedule. We were at a loss for a while. But to our pleasant surprise, one of the single mothers who attended the ceremony volunteered to make a speech. We were very grateful for God's help.

The daughter of the founder Ms. Ban, Aeran (Mrs. Eleanor Van Lierrop) visited Korea to take part in the celebration. She felt so happy to know her mother's achievement was far greater than she imagined. She was surprised to know that on the basis of her mother's sacrifice, so many single mothers and their children overcame society's prejudices and achieved their independence. Moreover, the fact that it was possible only with the help of supporters and volunteers surprised her a great deal. Because, when she was young, she often overheard many people ask her mother why she helped unwed single mothers. They told her mother helping single mothers was not worthwhile and there were so many good, but unfortunate women other than single mothers in the society. Now she realized Korea was no longer an underdeveloped country not only economy-wise but also consciousness-wise. She believed her mother would be very happy to hear that.

I am so proud of you, a precious supporter, who keeps on helping us in spite of social prejudice against single mothers. I deeply appreciate it. God bless the single mothers and their children, and bless you. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

April, 2010

Some thoughts after reading an article in an opinion column, "Will the government increase the population by letting teen-agers give birth?" on March 4th issue, Cho Sun Il Bo

I was surprised to read an article in a newspaper delivered in the morning. A columnist openly presents her offensive opinion, writing "Will the government increase the population by letting teen-agers give birth?" This was the second time I was shocked for the past few weeks. The other day I visited a friend hospitalized in a room shared with a few other patients. One of them, an elderly man, told us if the government helps and supports young, single mothers, there will be more of them in society. Most of those people never talk about the birth fathers who get the young women pregnant in the first place. They just put all the responsibilities on the women, considering them as sinners. After that incident, I asked around all the young women I met including a woman reporter who came out to have an interview on Ae Ran Won. "Would you be willing to become an unwed mother if the government would support you in full financially?" All of them said, "No way!"

There was a girl. Her father was a violent alcoholic, which made her mother run away from home. She had to take care of her young siblings and her father by herself. Giving up her dream to get a high school education, she got an odd job at a small store right after she finished her middle school. Even though she wanted to go to high school so badly, she had to work for living. When she happened to be friends with a college boy a few years later who used to be a customer at the store, she was so happy that she would do anything for him. She believed in him and they became very close. Knowing she was pregnant, he persuaded her to get an abortion, saying he couldn't afford to raise a baby because he was a mere student without a job. When she got pregnant again for the second time, she wanted to keep the baby so badly. But he insisted she should get an abortion again, threatening to leave her unless she did as he asked. She had to either get an abortion or give her baby up for adoption.

She finally realized that it was not love but a form of violence against her. Breaking up with him, she came to Ae Ran Won to give a birth. She had a son and she decided to raise him all on her own. She made a plan for her future with the support of a social worker. And then she was referred to Ae Ran Mother & Baby's Home. She studied hard enough to pass the qualification exam for the high school graduation and got a license in her favorite field after finishing her job training. She is now doing so fine with her son.

She always says she is happy because of her son. If she had given up on her boy, she wouldn't be as happy as she is now. She is so thankful to every supporter, and all the volunteers. Knowing that parents with the experience of domestic violence in their childhood are likely to be violent parents, she joined Ae Ran Won's Parenting Education Programs. I am so proud of her because I know how hard she has tried all along.

The issue of unwed mothers is not a matter of an individual sex problem but rather the vices of our social system and structure, and also a lack of social awareness. A "single mother" is a "mother" who has her baby in her womb for ten months and gives a birth with unspeakable pain. The only difference between these mothers and other mothers is their martial status. If we equally respect their right to have and raise a baby without considering their martial status, there will be no prejudice against single mothers. Also there shouldn't be any age discrimination. The age of a mother shouldn't be an issue. We have to accept all the mothers as they are.

As a matter of fact, they are not special women. Anybody in the world can happen to get the worst unexpected experiences. Becoming a single mother is just one of them. They did not plan to be single mothers. And they did not have the slightest idea about becoming single mothers. People in our society are quite positive and supportive about the mothers who are trying to raise their children, suffering from violent husbands. They do not think helping those mothers or divorcees would promote violence and divorce at all. It is the same with the single mothers. Supporting young, single mothers does not increase the number of those mothers. If we can show them more options without any prejudice, they can become self-supporting. With help, they will choose to raise their own children rather than to give them up for adoption. They are the same mothers after all.

Most single mothers are young. They can get a job when they are trained well enough. In addition to that, they have a strong will to raise their children with love, because they chose to do that instead of giving them up for adoption. If we support them to establish themselves, they will stand on their own feet and raise their children well enough to be valuable human resources in the future. I truly wish that people respect all single mothers who gave birth to their children in spite of the social prejudice against them, and facilitate raising all the babies no matter whom they were born to.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

March, 2010

Dear Supporters Who Love Ae Ran Won,

Hello! Two whole months have already passed. As the anniversary, which is April 10th, is just around the corner, we have been busy with this and that. As Ms. Ban Aeran, the founder and missionary, has been under medical treatment, we instead invited her daughter and the second director and missionary, Sue Rice. We started to organize the ceremony and a special fund raising event, and also the publication of the 50 year history of Ae Ran Won and a special seminar - presentation of successful stories by mothers- are on the way. I was glad the steering committee decided to combine the commemoration ceremony and special events, because we were going to have another fund raising dinner which would need a lot of work from the staff.

The other day I went to a hospital to see one of my relatives and happened to watch TV news in the hospital room on the government policy for supporting teen single mothers that I told you about last month. There were other patients in the room and I was so disappointed when hearing an old male patient saying, "There will be more of those single mothers if government supports them!" The problem is there are so many people in our society who have the same point of view. They think all the single mothers are evil women who are very loose in sex. They don't think about the men who got them pregnant. I feel so sorry for single mothers whenever people talk about their morality and responsibility. Even though there are many criticisms and much blame directed at the single mothers, Ae Ran Won can do whatever it can for those young women, thanks to your strong and faithful support.

These days about 30% of the mothers are either mentally handicapped or physically disabled because of living on the streets for so long. They are in need of intense care mentally as well as physically. At Ae Ran Won, we have been trying to figure out a way to support single mothers' independence, but many of the newly admitted mothers need complete protection rather than independence. Having been trying so hard to build up the independence system here at Ae Ran Won, I feel sorry for our staff members who are having a lot of trouble in dealing with these newly admitted mothers in a whole new way.

For help, many of these women at first contacted police stations, call centers, or homeless facilities. To take care of these mothers, however, far more people than expected are needed, and that's why they eventually have to be distributed to many unwed mothers' facilities. But most of the facilities refuse to admit them due to lack of staff and budget.

It seems that not only society but home is getting more and more torn down these days. Each and every mother has her own tragic story. For one example, there is a case of a young mother. Her biological parents were divorced when she was young, so she had to live with her mother and her step-father. When her mother got killed by another boy friend, there was no alternative for the daughter but to live with her step-father. She was sexually abused, and she ran away from home, living on the street, sexual trafficking for making her living, and pick-pocketing for money. She was caught by the police and was transferred to our facility when they found she was pregnant. When she was admitted, her hair was full of lice, her face was completely blank, and she had no desire whatsoever. Violent parents abuse their children verbally and physically as well. And the children consider themselves as a burden, blaming everything on themselves, and become neurotic, and a personality disorder patient.

There is a good news that I happened to miss the chance to tell you about. At the end of last year, the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Family announced the result of its evaluation of the national facilities for women. Ae Ran Won and Ae Ran Mother & Baby's Home got the top ranking, earning 97.5 and 95.9 out of 100 respectively. I deeply thank all the supporters and volunteers for your help. Without your support, we could not make it happen.

I'd like to remind you of our anniversary one more time. It is from 5 to 8 p.m., Saturday, April 10th. Please don't forget to come and join our special celebration. Seeing you on the anniversary day will be our great pleasure and honor. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

January, 2010

Dear Supporters Who Love Ae Ran Won,

How are you doing? I would like to start off by saying Happy 2010! My wish for you is that you be blessed with joy and happiness throughout the New Year. We are looking forward to 2010 because we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him.

Despite some difficulties due to snowstorms, the Opening Ceremony for the New Year was a success with Chairman of the Steering Committee Mr. Cho, Kunhoe. 2010 also marks the government’s policy change in regards to financial aid for unwed single mothers. Single mothers under the age of 24 will now be able to receive government grants if they wish to continue schooling and take the qualification examinations for middle and/or high school graduation equivalency. This aid, however, is limited to young mothers whose parents have no assets and earnings fall under the national minimum income requirements. Unfortunately, the financial support does not provide funding for job training expenses. Job training is vitally important for high school graduates who need to receive specific job training in order to be hired in a job or field that will provide adequate income. These job training expenses will have to continue to be provided by unwed mothers’ homes nationwide via donations.

The Government will also continue to provide the monthly child care support of 100,000 won and 24,000 won for child medical expenses to single teen mothers whose income is near or below the national minimum. We have suggested that adoptive families, unconditionally, receive this same child care support of 100,000 won monthly as well as the child medical expenses until the child turns 13 years old, but this recommendation was rejected. More detailed additional information concerning government financial support will be available after February of this year at which time the government will have established its guidelines around a “single-mother household.”

It is our position that the government should not determine the level of financial aid for a young mother based on her parents’ income. There are many cases in which the young teen mother has no relationship with her parents or is estranged from the family. We had one young client who had a social security number, but there was no record of her or her social security number on her Family Registry. She asked her father to please correct the Registry so as to permit her to request government financial aid, but her father repeatedly refused. He continued to refuse her request until a social worker for the young girl threatened to post a request for the father’s cooperation in his workplace. As soon as the young mother was listed on her father’s Family Registry (which establishes birth and citizenship), she was able to register her own son’s birth. She subsequently was denied any government grant aid because her father’s monthly income of 3,000,000 won was above the national minimum.

Despite this situation, the government’s newfound concern and subsequent policies to financially support teen mothers is a big step forward in improving a currently very difficult situation for young single mothers and their children. My wish is that we eventually see a society that cares for all children no matter who gave birth to them. There are some who ask why we should make the support of unwed single mothers a priority when there are so many other crises in the world. The answer is that if no one reaches out to help these mothers, they will not be able to parent their children. Many may give their children up and live the rest of their lives burdened with guilt and sadness. And what about the children? These children, separated from their mothers, experience abandonment and potentially grow up with feelings of anger and loss throughout their lives.

When those of us at Ae Ran Won, our supporters, and all the volunteers reach out and help these young mothers in the name of God, they will gain the tools and support they need to successfully parent their children and both mother and child will become flourishing members of our society.

Please mark your calendars for our big 50th Anniversary Event and Seminar on April 10th and 13th. Some amazing success stories will be presented. A detailed schedule of the event and seminar will be sent to you at a later date. Thank you very much for your concern and care for our single mothers.

God bless you. Take care until we “meet” again in next month’s newsletter.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

October, 2009

Dear Supporters Who Love Ae Ran Won,

I apologize for sending out this newsletter so late. It should have been sent out by mid-September. After my trip to U.S. in July, we had the important visits of the guests from U.S. in August and September, who have been supporting Ae Ran Won and Ae Ran Seumter. We had to prepare a lot of Interim reports on the programs on their support and more documents had to be prepared for the funding for next year. We also tried to translate some information into English for the overseas fund raising after the second book (the sequel to "I Wish for You a Beautiful Life", called "Dreaming a World") is published.

One of the supporters, who has been operating a Clinic, asked me what the difference between the other welfare organizations and Ae Ran Won system is. I replied, “the biggest difference is that Ae Ran Won not only does support of the temporal issues of pregnancy or child birth but also deals with the aftermath of giving birth, that is, from pregnancy to getting self-reliance.” The supporter, however, said that this difference was hard to catch just through reading our newsletters. Upon my return from the clinic, I began contemplating what the true differences are that we make compared to other welfare organizations.

The basic philosophical value of Ae Ran Won is that every individual should be respected and have the right to be happy, which should not be limited due to the status of being an unwed mother. Following this basic concept, Ae Ran Won tries to protect the rights, especially, of the unwed mothers, by helping them gain back dignity, security, and value in their lives.

Over the past eight years, Ae Ran Won has founded various facilities such as Mother-and-Baby’s Home, Seumter, Self-supporting Home, and Me.You.Us Support Center, and suggested more various alternatives with internal and external resources, which have broadened the opportunities for unwed mothers. If there is only one choice with no alternatives, how can that be a choice after all? If the mothers had no alternatives but to choose adoption, they had no choice but to decide on adoption. No matter how hard the government tries to lower the number of overseas adoption cases, it would be still very difficult if there is no other choices but adoption.

The services provided by Ae Ran Won open up a way for the mothers to preserve their families. Ae Ran Won has been helping not only each and every one of the mothers, but also helping the babies and their families to be established healthily. For in many cases, there are many families of the mothers in Ae Ran Won with their own difficulties.

Ae Ran Won tries to guide the mothers to become stronger and more independent. Ae Ran Won is not just a place where the mothers come for help, but we try to have the mothers resolve their own issues and their problems by establishing a partnership relationship between the mothers and the Ae Ran Won system. We believe that we know ourselves better than anyone else. We are giving all our efforts to change the society to be more aware of the rights of those who are socially marginalized, such as the mothers and their children. And we are also trying to improve the system. The facilities of Ae Ran Won are serving the mothers and their children with the love of Jesus Christ, beyond the limits of social welfare.

These may not be very evident to those who have not experienced the services Ae Ran Won provides. However, once you are in our facilities, those will become clear to you. This very fact, I believe, is the reason that Ae Ran Won has had new volunteers who become supporters and come back.

Ae Ran Won is having a seminar with the subject of “Juvenile unwed mothers, how can we support?” Please send us words of encouragement in your hearts.

Your endless love and support for Ae Ran Won is keeping us strong. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

August, 2009

Dear Supporters,

How are you all spending these hot humid days? Like all the other months, I have a feeling August is going to pass us by so fast that we need to cherish what is left of summer.

I went on a trip to the United States from July 19th to July 30th with two goals in mind. The first goal was to explore the Parent Child Center (PCC) in Vermont. PCC is just like the ‘Me.You.Us Support Center’ in Ae Ran Won, where the single mothers are given advices to adapt themselves in society. At PCC, I observed the methods how to effectively help single mothers succeed in society and how to efficiently involve young mothers into the program.

PCC is a community level program that provides opportunities for single mothers to get together and learn and gain information from each other. As for teenage mothers, PCC paid extra attention. For example, they provide a secure place where young girls could obtain self-confidence to stand up by themselves, and where their young kids could grow up safely under careful supervision. Furthermore, PCC also offers wide-ranging services to support needy families from the middle of their pregnancy in order to guide them settle in healthy independent child rearing.

They have diverse support from the federal and the state government as well as from local community groups, realizing: ‘If we don’t take an appropriate action right now, the situation will get worse’, ‘Abortion and putting kids up for adoption are not the only solution to this problem’ and ‘The problems caused by the parentless minors were not the fault of the single mothers but other causes’. These realizations made people think that such an agency as PCC is desperately needed. This feeling of necessity let the government and the community closely get together to provide an ample amount of funding.

The most outstanding quality PCC realizes is that the children who are referred to foster care home centers ended up going back to their biological parents. This understanding enforces people to focus their funds on helping single parents, which ultimately helps the society and the community.

From my perspective, the community and the federal and state government involvement for helping single parents is the most enviable aspect. Besides, PCC operates a day care center and an alternative school for the young parents. These are the qualities I want to apply in Ae Ran Won.

To my surprise, during the visit in Vermont, I met Ae Ran Won’s second director, Mrs. Sue Rice. She and her husband, Randy Rice, a pastor, have worked in Korea for 16 years as missionaries. Ten years ago, when the couple visited Korea, they donated the amount of $1000 to Ae Ran Won despite the fact that they were already retired. I remember that the pastor’s suit looked quite worn out at the time of donation. Now, living in Vermont, they invited me to their house. There, I noticed that the couple leads a very simple life style, decorating their living room with various kinds of Korean folk art. During dinner, they served me delicious Korean foods like bean sprouts and kimchi. After experiencing the couple’s simple but devotional life toward Christianity and other people, I felt as if I took a spirit bath.. The two were still showing affection toward Ae Ran Won by praying for us and happily accepting the invitation to Ae Ran Won’s 50th anniversary celebration. I am very grateful that I will be able to serve them at the anniversary.

The second goal was to visit CHSFS (Children’s Home Society & Family Services) located in St. Paul, Minnesota. It is one of the sponsors of Ae Ran Won. There, I had a wonderful meeting with CHSFS President and the director as well who is responsible for sponsoring Ae Ran Won in order to report Ae Ran Won’s current situation and to convince them that their generous support is continuously needed in the future. Even though the U.S. economy isn’t doing too well these days, the CHSFS President and the director thankfully promised to continue supporting Ae Ran Won. CHSFS supports various programs globally. During my visit, the director told me that of all the programs, Ae Ran Won is the most outstanding program. I was informed that Ae Ran Won was on the verge of being dropped from the list of sponsored programs; however, the director took a stance and defended Ae Ran Won by claiming, "how can we drop the most outstanding program?" When I heard the story, I was speechlessly thankful toward the director.

While in Minnesota, I did my best to finish up with proof-reading the second book about birth mothers stories. Meeting the book designer, I was able to discuss little details about the edition to finalize and conclude the book publishing. While at it, I also met a few people who were all thrilled about the book as much as I was.

When I came back from my ten day business trip, piles of papers and to-do tasks were waiting for me on my desk. Each day, as I plow through the piles, is passing by very fast.

I pray that you will all be healthy during the last hump of summer. See you again next month. Thank you very much for your support.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

July, 2009

Dear Supporters,

How are you? I hope you can enjoy yourself in this hot summer.

I have a news for you. Do you remember the story I told you from the letter in August 2008 about one of our birth mothers? Today, I am delivering a good news regarding her!

She was being raised in an orphanage. One night when she was sleeping, she was exposed to carbon monoxide and had been unconscious for three nights. She received no treatment but some cold soup. Since then she has suffered from endless headaches and she wasn't able to read or study well in school as she had been before the accident. She has some hearing issues as well, so she has hard time to hear and understand.

She was adopted by a Korean family when she was 15 years old. Unfortunately, the family had abused her by making her do all the household chores for over 15 years and forcing her to marry a man who had a record of domestic violence. She ran away from her husband when she got pregnant and was referred to Ae Ran Won. She gave birth to her son, who was then placed for adoption. She went back to her adoptive parents' home because there was no place else to go. (At that time, Ae Ran Won had no group home for the mothers.) Her adoptive parents again made her do all the housework and forced her to marry yet another man who also was very violent. After she was married, she found out that the man was divorced twice due to his domestic violence. She had suffered from continuous physical and verbal violence. She eventually filed for a divorce, and with a help of free legal services for domestic abuse victims, she finally got legally divorced.

In early 2009, she started a job at a restaurant as dishwasher while spending the nights on a cold restaurant couch. However, the owner of the restaurant did not pay her the monthly salary of $530. When she said she would sue him (actually I taught her to do that), he paid only $1500 for all of her five months of work. With the money, she was able to find a small room with $2300 deposit plus $150 monthly rent. Although it was just a small room, she was very happy to have her own place. Ae Ran Won supported her with a partial amount of her deposit money ($770).

Ae Ran Won also provided her with some money to cover her medical expenses and to pay back the credit card debt that her ex-husband used in her name (Ae Ran Won negotiated and had the balance reduced). She bought some second hand furniture for $330. The total amount of $1,500 was used to brighten her life. Now she is looking for a job to make her own living. Last Friday she visited Ae Ran Won to cook for all of us in Ae Ran Won with joy and we all had a delicious and enjoyable lunch.

Thanks to all of your support, she was finally able to stand up and face the world with new life. I really appreciate to you all. Thank you so much!

Sincerely,
Sang soon Han
Director. Ae Ran Won

 

June, 2009

Dear Supporters,

As the summer approaches, the bright green leaves heavily ornament the trees. The gentle wind under these trees is cool and relieving. Like the trees, Ae Ran Won would also like to provide a place of relief and hope to those single moms who have challenging lives ahead of them.

Early one morning, there was an old man resting his weakened and fatigued body on a wheelbarrow. He was so worn-out that he appeared as if he was about to dive right onto the path headfirst. Seeing this, I thought to myself, how would he continue to pull the wheelbarrow if he was that tired? Wanting to help the old man out even just a little bit, I went to the nearest convenient store and bought a bottle of refreshing juice. When I handed the juice to him, his face was brightened filled with a warm smile. Seeing the smile of the old man, I decided to give a bottle of juice to the other people around as well.

Making the world a happier and a better place didn’t seem to be as complex as I’d thought. If you just respect and encourage others whole heartily, even though the troubled situation itself may not change, you are able to provide at least a little bit of hope to the lives of those in need. When you give effort to help others, even if it may not be much, “the sum total of this world's happiness” can increase “by giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime" (Dale Carnegie, a famous American writer and a lecturer who focuses on public speaking and personality development).

In the past, the unwed single moms said, “I don’t want any help, nor do I need compassion. Just don’t criticize. The discouraging and judgmental criticisms are the source of the death of my hope to strive to keep my baby.”

It is amazing that a single criticism from the general public has the power to take away hope from the moms. For these moms, Ae Ran Won has provided such programs as Seumter, Mother & Baby’s Home, and Self-supporting Home for their self-reliance. Although our help isn’t much, just the fact that Ae Ran Won can provide a place where the moms feel accepted, talking about their problems with comfort, is the most important thing.

At first, I often felt helpless and a little bit frustrated at myself as well as at the center for not being able to provide the full support for the moms who left the facilities for the real world. But now, I am relieved to know that Ae Ran Won is able to support the moms who have left us and gone out into society through the “One Stop” support system. A few days ago, I told one of those moms who was discharged from Ae Ran Won, “I am not worried about your leaving Ae Ran Won” and she replied, “Me, neither. I now have a trusting family, Ae Ran Won and the Me.You.Us center, to turn to whenever I need a help.” Hearing this, I felt proud to be working at the Ae Ran Support System.

All this has become possible because of the supporters’ infinite interest and love. I sincerely thank you. We at Ae Ran Won will do our best to provide the mothers with a stable and happy life. To those who show unlimited love and support, may your hot summer be healthy and joyful. Again, thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won

May, 2009

Dear Supporters,

Spring has been in every corner these days. Colorful flowers are in full bloom and baby leaves are coming out on every branch. It's a blessing that we can see this MIRACLE each and every year. Despite nature being so beautiful, the world is suffering from the epidemic of H1N1 virus. All of our families, 39 at Ae Ran Won including 12 infants and their mothers, 28 at Mother-Child Home Center, 8 at Seumter, and 4 at Self-supporting Home, are being extremely cautious about our hygiene.

The bazaar held on the 25th of April was a kind of success. On the previous day, the weather was so bad with rain and strong wind, and it was impossible for us to put up an outdoor tent. To make it worse, they broadcasted it would rain on the following day, too. We were all concerned about the weather. But just like one of our birth mother's belief--she believed the weather couldn't be bad on the day of Ae Ran Won's bazaar--the wind subsided during the night so that we could set up the tent, and it didn't rain in the following morning! It wasn't until around 3 in the afternoon when we were almost done with our bazaar that it started to rain again. How thankful we all were!

Many of our neighbors who saw our advertising posters came out early at around 10 and lined up before we open the bazaar There were lots of baby clothes, woman's dresses, cardigans, T-shirts. One of our supporters donated several used, but brand-name handbags which were very popular worldwide. They were sold in a flash at our bazaar, too. An old lady came to the bazaar told us that last year she bought 14,000 Won's worth of used clothes but forgot to take them home. So we decided to cut down 14,000 Won from what she purchased this year, which made her very happy. She spent almost the entire day with us at the bazaar, shopping for more second-hand clothes and having lunch at the cafeteria. And there came two persons who escaped from North Korea a few years ago, and now students of Yonsei University. They were happy to realize the prices were really low, buying winter coats, sweaters, and jeans. When we did some more discount from the total amount of money, they were pleased enough to be willing to volunteer at Ae Ran Won.

I kind of felt sorry for my staff on the previous day because they had a hard time in preparing the bazaar: collecting, cleaning, and setting up all the stuff. To see them working too much made me wonder if we have to continue this event year after year. But holding a bazaar is one of the ways to get to know your community and your neighbors. And our staff became so good at organizing a bazaar! Total of 5,126,000 Won (approximately $4,100) collected this year at the bazaar will go to the independence fund for the unwed single mother's homes in our community. I really appreciate everybody who helped us hold the bazaar. Without your help, we could not get such a success.

There is a happy news. Since April, the Me.You.Us Support Center has provided mothers in our community with free vaccinations and milk formula and diapers for their children. Although they can get basic vaccinations for free at government clinics, they need some more vaccinations for epidemic illnesses, which are rather expensive. As its motto of this year is "Lowering Infants' Death Rate," the International Rotary Club donated $40,000 for the community mothers which will be used to provide necessary vaccination for the unwed single mother's children in our community. Ex-president Kang, Chang Ho helped a lot to make it happen for us.

More good news is that two of our young mothers at Seumter have passed the high school diploma test. One of them passed the test on her first try, but the other had tried three times before and finally she passed it on her fourth try. We all were so happy for her. We congratulated her on her being so determined and persistent, not giving up her dream. And one more mom at the Mother & Baby's Home also passed the test on her first try. With their high school diplomas, they now can take all the vocational courses they'd like.

We will do our best to support unwed mothers to stand on their own, starting from the point of having a healthy childbirth to the final stage of being independent mentally as well as financially. I thank you for your sincere support with love. Your continuous support is making this happen. God bless you and your family. Thank you!!

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Ae Ran Won

April, 2009

Dear Patrons of Ae Ran Won,

I would like to say thank you for your continuous support to Ae Ran Won. I am very happy to say that we have established a one-stop supporting service system, "From Childbirth to Self-Reliance." Your steady love cheers all of us up, to get over difficult issues and to keep working.

I recently met two women who had stayed in Ae Ran Won. On March 1, 2009, one mother who stayed here for 27 days in 1984 came by to ask for a picture of her baby who had been adopted immediately after birth. She cried her heart out saying not to blame her irresponsible behavior that she had to let her baby be sent away. She was 25 years and nine months pregnant when she came to us. After childbirth, the hospital doctor advised her repeatedly to look at the baby boy’s face for one last time but she could never open her eyes. She said she couldn’t because she didn’t deserve to see her own baby whom she couldn’t take responsibility for.

She returned to Ae Ran Won after she heard the baby had been taken away. She left Ae Ran Won after only three days because she was guilty as a mother who made her baby go away. She couldn’t just take care of her own health when she couldn’t take care of her own boy. She left Ae Ran Won without any notice and returned home, and her mother didn’t ask her anything. She had lived with her mother in a shack, until her mother passed away. Since she was left alone, she had to go though a lot of ups and downs. She said she had to go see a psychiatrist. It made my heart hurt to see her dark face, her eyes blank with guilt. It’s now 2009 and her clock was still stuck in 1984. She says she knows that people still talk behind her back about her guilt of sending her baby away, even though they smile at her. She says she knows that she should still be blamed. It hurt my heart to see her saying that. I asked the adoption agency for any available information and fortunately we were able to get a picture of the baby. However it was too old to even recognize the baby’s face. She was deeply grieved and kept saying “that’s not what I want."

The other mother who was here in 1990 was an unmarried single mother raising her son. On my first day at Ae Ran Won on April 1, 1990, she initiated a protest demonstration of the residents and handed me a list of proposals with more than 20 “we ask the new director” complaints to improve their conditions. On March 9, 2009, she left a line on the website of Ae Ran Won and we met again. She says she has suffered a tough and difficult life but she thinks her difficulties were never in vain. Her son has grown up well and now is a junior in college. She also graduated from a university and is in graduate school. She valued Ae Ran Won for giving her a foundation, and she wanted to share her stories with the mothers at Ae Ran Won. She said she made a promise to herself that she would return the love she has received, and this was the first step.

What both of them have in common is that they had spent the same years as unwed mothers. One chose to raise her baby and the other chose adoption as most of unmarried mothers at that time would do. It seemed the latter could get back to her former life sooner after her child's birth. However, she had to live the rest of her life with a sense of guilt and great loss, which had developed into a serious mental disease in her case. On the other hand, the former decided to raise her baby. After finishing a vocational training course and finding a job as a Korean dress maker she was discharged from Ae Ran Won. But it was extremely hard to raise a child as a single mother at that time. The strong prejudice of society was much worse back then and support didn’t exist at all. Her son had to go though thirteen operations to survive and she also had to undergo a major operation. With all these hard circumstances, what was the mainspring of her strength? She says it was her son. Her son was the only reason to keep her alive and not to give up. Her son was what made her what she is today.

On February 26, 2009, “A Workshop for Success Case Studies in Support of Unmarried Single Mothers and Their Babies in U.S. Communities" was held under the joint sponsorship of Ae Ran Won and The Korean Network to Support Unmarried Single Mothers. (The representative: Dr. Richard Boas) We learned several valuable lessons from the presentation by Dr. Cheryl Mitchell (former Assistant Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Service in Vermont, current professor at Vermont University). One of the issues was about the social misunderstandings of unmarried mothers in Korea, such as “The support policy for unmarried mothers causes the issues and increases the number of unwed mothers” and “Child rearing by an unmarried mother makes the baby unhappier.”

According to Dr. Mitchell, unmarried mothers and their babies have received intensive supports in Vermont through the Mother-Child Center, established in the state to support unmarried mothers and babies in local communities. They came up with some useful results and one is that the rate of pregnancy and repeat-pregnancy by teenagers has decreased. They verified it is not true that children of unmarried mothers would become unhappier. The important thing is that babies need appropriate resources and surroundings like everybody else. What matters is not whether the mothers are unmarried or married..

I hope that we will be able to hold “A Workshop for Success Case Studies in Support of Unmarried Mothers and Their Babies in Korea" in one year. I believe it is feasible because you support us, pray for us, the staff at Ae Ran Won truly devotes ourselves, and the mothers in Ae Ran Won have strong will of life.

I would like to extend my gratitude to you again and hope all of you stay healthy at this time of changing of season. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director Ae Ran Won

 

March, 2009

Dear Supporters,

It's getting warm. Due to the winter drought, Kangwon Province declared its Emergency. That makes us be concerned about water usage at home. The other day, I read an article on my husband's high school alumni homepage. It talked about one of the differences between mothers and wives, saying that "mothers wash the dishes in a water-filled bucket, but on the other hand, wives wash the dishes directly under the faucet." It had a good point there, and I started to wash the dishes in a water-filled bucket.

The exterior wall for Ae Ran Won has been under construction, and it will be done by the end of February. The exterior wall project has been one of our utmost works, but because of its high cost it has been on the must-be-done list for a long time. Fortunately, at the end of last year, Government and Seoul City decided to support the project providing 221 million won, splitting the cost 50:50. The construction began on January 12th. If you visit Ae Ran Won in March, you will find our building changed its appearance from the old, gloomy, gray wall to a very bright, beautiful one. Right now, however, it is quite uncomfortable to be around the building because of the noise and the construction dust. But we are all looking forward to seeing our beautiful Ae Ran Won. There are sixteen babies at present at Ae Ran Won, who have been taken to either the nearby Bongwon Church or Ae Ran Mother and Baby's Home because of the noise and dust. Their meals have been brought to them by our staff and volunteers. Luckily, those mothers who came into our facility before they delivered a baby can get great help from "Bichumee Maternal Volunteers Association" sponsored by Sam Sung Life Insurance. Volunteers specialized in taking care of mothers-to-be and new-born babies come to help mothers who delivered a baby within two weeks.

As for the counselling statistics of 2008, teenagers, twenties, and thirties and older made up 34%, 55%, and 11% respectively. And middle and high school drop-outs formed 42%, while high school and college graduates formed 58%. 72% of those single mothers who gave birth at Ae Ran Won decided to bring up their babies instead of placing them for adoption. The number decreased compared to 81% of the women in the year of 2007. That's because there were several young mothers who had tremendous difficulties to raise her child and they all decided to give up their babies for adoption. There also was one young mother who had the inevitable medical abortion at Seoul National University Hospital.

As those who are mentally disabled or depressed mothers came to our facility in a rush, social workers had great difficulties in dealing with them. Most of those mothers over-reacted to the social workers' love and attention, clinging to them all the time and being jealous of others who took social workers' attention. From time to time, these four or five young mothers attacked each other and did childish temper-tantrums, sitting on the office floor. It is very hard to take care of them, because they have neither any proper education to be hired nor a place to go after leaving our facility. This situation reminds me of Japanese child welfare facilities that I experienced last year. And I was told Japanese facilities gradually became more or less a shelter for the disabled because they had no other place to go. We are almost in the same boat these days. Even though we did our best to encourage them to stand on their own feet, providing the necessary education and care, they frequently came back to Ae Ran Won begging to stay here longer. Those mentally disadvantaged mothers have difficulties in controlling and expressing their feelings. When their babies were taken away to adoption, they cried a lot, hitting their chest and saying it's aching.

In 2008, there have been many incidents causing a lot of trouble for our staff. One of the cases was about a sixteen-year-old pregnant girl who had stayed at a motel by herself for several months. Without having nutritious, healthy food for a long time, she became very weak. When it was about time to deliver her baby, she went to a nearby police station to get some help. The police tried in vain to find a facility that could take care of her. They finally called us. And even though it was very hard for us to take her in because of the on-going construction, we decided to take her in because it was a matter of two lives. She was in such bad shape that hospitals refused to accept her. It was Sung Ae Hospital that finally took her in and help her give birth there. But the medical condition of the young mother and her child was so critical that we had to transfer them to the intensive care unit at Kangnam Sungshim Hospital in an ambulance in the middle of the night. The young mother had to stay at the unit for 15 days and her baby stayed there for a whole month before they could be transferred to a regular room at the hospital. Being at Ae Ran Won right now, they still need a lot of care.

Our staff at Ae Ran Won is having such a hard time taking care of all the mothers and their babies. There are so many things to do. And I can't lift much of their burden because of financial difficulties. Nevertheless, our staff is full of spirit and pride. That's because they have very high self-esteem, believing their time, talent, and capabilities are being used at the right time and right place. I am so proud of my staff, thanking them profoundly for their endless effort. At the same time, I am so sorry to my staff that I can't provide them with more benefits.

I'll let you get a glimpse of our newly changed Ae Ran Won next month. To tell you the truth, my heart is full of appreciation whenever I examine our accounting books. Thanks to your continuous support, we can do our various projects for unwed mothers and their children. You are so sensitive to the poor and needy without any prejudice. I thank you for your generosity from the bottom of my heart. Please be happy and healthy!

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han,
Director of Ae Ran Won

 

January, 2009

Dear Supporters,

It's 2009, New Year! I wish you all the best! You have been supporting our unwed mothers and their children with sincere concern and warm love so that they can live in good health psychologically as well as physically.

At this very beginning of the New Year, I have been thinking about the future and the role of Ae Ran Won. As I mentioned last December, quoting the poem of Guillaume Apollinaire, getting rid of inner fear is the first step to success, and an appropriate education is the key to do it.

One of the Ae Ran Won's roles is to help single mothers overcome their inner fear and lead their lives with new hope, achieving their independence. The other is to stop the biased prejudice of single mothers in our society. Even though mothers try so hard getting the necessary education, finishing the vocational training courses and getting the certificates, if they cannot get a job or they cannot keep their jobs because of the strong social prejudice that single mothers are bad women, then their frustration, despair, and poverty will continue.

According to the January 5th issue of a newspaper, the poverty rate of a home in Korea whose head is a woman is over 40%, the highest rate among the 18 OECD nations. They say it is beyond comparison, in the degree of the size of absolute poverty, and the relative poverty between male and female heads of household as well. Due to the continuing economic crisis, an increase of poverty households, especially the woman head of household, is foreseeable. That is why we are in need of more effective government policies to protect those woman head of households from falling into poverty.

However, the Government still does not seriously lay out the best policy and a system for the needy, rather dealing with the issues as political ones. All the budget, energy, and other expenses put into the wrong policies could be wasted. If mothers have no other way but to continue to depend on national welfare, they could not secure their independence even though the national budget supports the same project year after year. And that would be a huge, tremendous waste for not only the individuals but the nation.

Ae Ran Won's purpose for this year is to collect the success stories that mothers achieve their independence safe and sound, to suggest more plausible welfare policies to the government based on the case studies, and to signify a change of mind or attitude on single mothers in the society.

And there is one more. There are so many organizations, so-called unwed mothers' support center, in this society these days. Ae Ran Won will show them how the best support center should be managed by running the Me.You.Us Family Center opened last November as soundly as possible. Without a good role model, people would have difficulty recognizing the most promising system that can help single mothers best.

Ae Ran Won, Seumter, Mother & Baby's Home, Self supporting Home, and Me.You.Us Family Center are all run by your support. I will do my best to bring your valuable support to a beautiful fruition, letting our single moms and their children be precious human resources in our future low-birth, aging society.

I earnestly ask your favor to continue your support with warm concerns on Ae Ran Won, Seumter, and Center. Of the total budget, 35%, 90%, and 10% is coming from your support for Ae Ran Won, Seumter, and Mother & Baby's Home respectively. And the Me.You.Us Family Center and Self Supporting Home are running out of your support 100% of the total budget. As always, the entire budget will be executed clearly and genuinely only to help the single mothers and their children to accomplish their independence in good health. I thank you again for your continuing support in these economically difficult times and wish you all the best one more time. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Sang Soon Han
Director of Ae Ran Won